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:::환영합니다 잉글리쉬토피아 입니다:::

 

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     please correct my grammar and comprehension
     작성자   :   Kakao    (Hit : 22196)

Someone offered me $1million dollars to spend a year on my own on a desert island. - Yes -10M

What do you think of a desert island? Perhaps you’ll imagine dangerous organisms such as venomous snakes or scorpions. People are reluctant to live on a desert island due to such a ubiquitous peril. But if someone offers me $1 million dollars to spend a year on my own on a desert island, I will. Firstly, if I live on a desert, I can be the best in the world; secondly, I can build a protectable house made of soil; thirdly, if I get along with rare animals on the desert, I could feel so happy that one year will pass quickly. It can be argued that there are a lot of dangerous animals, therefore it could harm you, even death. But animals do not harm people easily.

First reason is that if I live on the desert, I will always care about my death, not be afraid of hardships leading to the best in the world. For example, if I’m concerned with my death, I’ll try to survive on the desert with not being afraid of hardships, establish my own principles for survival and by my rules, become a successful man. Steve Jobs had confronted with his death. Every day, he thought of what I have to do if I die. Because of this, he was immersed in his work, made his own principles and was not afraid of difficulties leading to establish an international company called Apple.

Second, the desert consists of mainly soil so that I can build a protectable house of soil. For instance, if I mix water and soil together, I can build my house to protect myself from all dangerous factor. According to mokpo28.pe.kr, there are many evidences about houses made of soil to protect residents safely from risks on the Sahara desert.

Thirdly, if I’m familiar with rare animals, one year will pass quickly. For example, there are a lot of animals living in an oasis. At first, it will be hard to get close with them. But if I treat them with a true heart, perhaps I'll be their friend, play game with them and that year will pass quickly. According to blog.naver.com/unhuni, Tippi born in France is living in the Africa because her parents are animal photographers. Though she is not living on a desert island, she always treat animals sincerely so that she is familiar with leopards, lions and elephants etc.

A common complaint against living on a desert island is that there are many dangerous animals living on a desert so that the animals can kill you. However, if you know how animals behave, you will understand that they are not really dangerous. Animals mainly attack organisms that harm them. Sometime, carnivores like hyenas could appear for food. But they don't attack human easily. According to National geographic, one cameraman mostly spent his time filming hyenas’ life and unless he bothers the animals, the animals got along with him rather than attack him.

In conclusion, I will spend a year on a desert with $1 million dollars. Because, the desert island help me to be successful and if I make house of soil and be familiar with the rare animals, I’ll be safe and that year will pass quickly. While other people consider a desert island to be uninhabitable due to animals, they don’t attack easily. When choosing whether living on a desert island with $1 million dollars, it is foolish to reject such a chance just only for the stereotype.



I want you to not only advise some problem but also correct my grammar and comprehesion:D


 


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please correct my grammar and compreh... Kakao 15-12-06 22197
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